Well, I'm writing this post cos I read Tammy's post on "Life as a blogger" and felt it reached straight right to my heart. It made me think a lot and we both also talked about this one night in BKK, so I feel I should let you in a bit more on my insights about the not-so-seen life of a blogger.
I'm sure many girls, or at least some, are envious of a blogger's life. Free products, sponsored overseas trips, sponsored manicures etc etc. Granted, I love the perks that come along with my blog and I won't deny being a blogger can be fun! It honestly has been a pretty enriching journey so far! I have been blogging for years but only got "noticed" last year, joined Gushcloud which is my current blog management company, and subsequently the good stuff started rolling in. I started getting paid for advertorials on my blog, started getting free make up products/skincare products/ sponsorships for mani pedi etc. Once in awhile, someone on the street would stop by to say hi and that they read my blog. I started getting recognized in Zouk also. Do I like the attention? Yes. Do I love the attention and does it matter a lot to me? No. Admit it, everyone be it a girl or guy enjoys attention to a certain extent.
So far, all that I've mentioned is the greener side of a blogger's grass.
Bloggers, me included, often get judged more than "ordinary" people for the things we do and sometimes the things we don't do. I know most bloggers come across as very materialistic, attention-seeking, fake people who are obsessed with fame, looks, plastic surgery and a luxurious life. They also seem to be fame whores or social climbers who only want to hang out with the popular or good-looking people. Well, you're somewhat right cos some bloggers really are like that but NOT ALL. And I dare to say I am not like that. I may be in this blogging industry but that doesn't mean I'm oblivious to the nature of it. It's not all whim and fancy.
Besides getting supportive readers, I have my fair share of people who dislike or judge me before really knowing how I really am as a person. Here are a few examples.
1. Words have been going around that I stop hanging out with my old/close friends (being Alistair, Vera, Kirk, Angelyn, Serene etc) and have been hanging out with others cos I'm trying to social climb or because I am a fame whore.
Just because I don't meet them as often or publicly announce that I'm meeting them doesn't mean they are out of my life. Angelyn went overseas for exchange prog since January, Alistair went to Aussie for pilot training since Feb. How to meet my friends when they are overseas till now??? (Alist just came back 2 weeks ago). Kirk just enlisted to army, both Vera and I are caught up with work but we still meet every now and then. These are the things the public don't know because I don't announce my friends' personal life on a social media platform. We all still talk very often and nothing about our friendship has changed one bit, but just because we CAN'T meet doesn't mean I don't care about them anymore. They are still the most important bunch of people in my life.
2. Break up with Daniel
One of the reasons why Daniel didn't want to get back together with me after our break up was because he dislikes the pressure and attention he gets from me being a blogger. Because he gets judged for little things he does, gets accused by anonymous people for the things he never did but it still got to me because I'm human, and because he feels there are better/more eligible guys out there for me. I know some of his friends also discouraged him from chasing me back because I'm supposedly the "shallow girl" who can easily let go of the love we had and just go for someone who's richer or better-looking. Bloggers are just not date-able in most people's opinion. Even though I was the most faithful girlfriend ever, loved him more than any other girl did, never ever made any financial or materialistic demands unreasonably. Instead, I always bought him gifts, flew him to Phuket for his birthday, offer to pay for dinner sometimes whenever he's cash strapped because I have TJM to keep me financially sound. He, on the other hand loved me in other ways and really was a great boyfriend. We had the most impeccable chemistry together, and were so happy together throughout the past 3 years but these were still blinded by the fact that I am a blogger. Of course, there were other factors to our break up. I don't blame his friends for this because I also understand how everyone stereotypes bloggers and they have his interests at heart. But it's just sad that despite giving my all as a girlfriend previously, it still couldn't outweigh a little insignificant status of mine.
What I'm saying is that, sometimes we do have a personality that can't be encapsulated and delivered to you through the mere platform of social media. Just because there's a stereotype doesn't mean it's a fact that applies to everyone. Just because we endorse aesthetic appeal doesn't mean that's all we care about. That's part of our job. And sometimes, we have a personal life we would not like to share online. We need our little avenue of mysteries and adventure, a little personal intimacy with our loved ones which we wish to keep behind closed doors.
Besides all these, I meet people/bloggers who do things with ulterior motives like leeching off fame. Some of them can also be very different in real life from the online personality they portray and it's very sad what fame does to people. I've seen not one, not two but various cases of the extent people would go just to make themselves more popular and that's just pathetic. Behaving like someone you're not, creating stories to spice up blog/twitter, intentionally snapping couple-ish pictures but making it look candid so everyone thinks you have the perfect relationship.
Honestly, it doesn't matter much to me how famous I'll get or not. How many twitter/instagram followers I'll reach. I'm contented with my 6k followers on instagram even though so many of my blogger friends have surpassed 10k or even 20k. I will live my life and be myself the way I always want to be, and whatever fame or the lack of it comes along, comes along. If I had to conform and go through plastic surgery just to make myself more appealing in the industry, listen to KPOP to blend in with the rest, only hang out and take photos with famous people, force myself to model for as many blogshops as possible to up my reputation, all these just to be more famous, I would rather not. I'm not saying all these above are wrong but I'm saying I won't do things I originally dislike or change my values just to make myself more popular. Because I really believe that I should shape my blog, not letting a blogger status shape who I am and end up being a slave for the social media.
Hope you enjoyed this little insight from me, no hating (:
Hope you enjoyed this little insight from me, no hating (: